Parenting Toddler Strategies and Advice

Fortunately, there are very useful common sense strategies that are beneficial for laying the foundation for raising happy secure children.

What does the word parenting mean to you? To me it means taking on the biggest responsibility that life has to offer a person. Think about it for a minute. To get married you need a license and usually premarital counseling. You spend thousand of dollars on the wedding and countless hours planning for it. The traditional marriage vows are to love, honor and cherish until death do you part. Three commitments for a lifetime(or not).

As a parent, you do not need a license or special counseling. There is rarely hours spent planing on how to be a parent before you become one yet you are making commitments to a person(s) for a lifetime that goes beyond any marriage vows.

Maybe parents should have a parenting ceremony. It would go something like this; Do you, (Sammy's) parent(s) take (Sammy)to be you child. Do you promise to be a caregiver, protector, provider, nurturer, educator, spiritual guide, role model, health consultant,psychologist,financial advisor, nutritionist, math torturer, sports coach, scout leader, chauffeur, fashion consultant, cheerleader, boundary maker, freedom giver and forever safety net for as long as you shall live?. (Holy Cow!!) I just overwhelmed myself!

Take a deep breath and take heart because you won't be required to perform all of these duties on a daily basis. Just routinely for the rest of your life as the situation requires.

Pick Your Battles and Win the ParentingToddler Wars

• Offer choices to your toddler in situations where they can have one like during play, dressing or snacks. Give your budding little independent person some control over his life. For example, ask him if he wants to wear the yellow shirt with a dinosaur or the blue with a tractor. This not only teaches him to think for himself but will give him a sense of power over his own world. Just be sure to offer choices that you are willing to allow.

Parenting Toddler Strategy Number 2:

• Don't phrase things as a question if you expect your toddler to give you the answer you want to hear. Chances are he won't. If you ask “Are you ready to take a bath” and your toddler is busy playing he most likely will answer you with a firm “No!” Now your forced to take back the choice of bath or no bath and enforce your will on him. This is not only not picking your battles but it is setting yourself up for one. LESSON: Offer choices when there is one and state facts when there is no choice.

Parenting Toddler Strategy Number 3:

• Try to redirect your toddler to appropriate choices after you have stopped him from doing something which is not allowed. Instead of just saying “No” try saying to him something like “Playing with the computer is not a choice but lets go into your room and play with your blocks“. Lead him over to the blocks and redirect his attention on playing. By doing this you have stated the rule and followed it up with another option.

Parenting Toddler Strategy Number 4:

• When you give your toddler a direction or warning repeat it once then take action. Do not sit there repeating yourselfthreatening dire consequences while becoming more aggravated. Follow these three steps and never waiver:

1) Tell your toddler what is expected. Use short sentences with clear meaning while gaining eye contact so you can be sure of his attention.

2) Give one warning if your toddler did not respond to your requests.

3) Rectify the situation by backing up your warning with actions. Get up and deal with the situation. (NIP IT IN THE BUD).

Parenting Toddler Strategy Number 5:

• Use time-out to remove your toddler from a situation that is not acceptable, a behavior that is undesirable or to allow him time to collect himself when over stimulated. Time-out was not designed to be a punishment but more as a period of collection then redirection. After time out is over educate your toddler on what is the correct behavior or action you expect from him in that situation.

Parenting Toddler Strategy Number 6:

• Set reasonable and clear boundaries and be prepared to defend them. Its your toddler's job to test these boundaries so make sure you stand firm. If you can be swayed on the rules it can actually confuse and frighten your toddler about where his would ends and his parents world begins.

Parenting Toddler Strategy Number 7:

• Have preset rules and know in advance how you plan to handle difficult behaviors and make an effort to react the same way with each event. This is where I see parents lose ground. Discuss with your partner and other adults helping to care for your toddler what the rules are and the expected consequences. Adults in authority should always back each other up on discipline and NEVER undermine the other parent's authority. If there is a disagreement back-up the other parent in front of your child and disagree in private. An united front raises a secure confident child.

Parenting Toddler Strategy Number 8:

• Cut off the payoffs for bad behaviors. If you have ever been pushed into changing a "No" into a "Yes" by persistent and annoying behaviors from your toddler then you paid him off. To change this cycle you must now totally,absolutely 100 percent completely never give into his bad behaviors. To banish this manipulation you must know without a doubt that there will no longer be a pay off for this behavior. It will probably get ugly before it stops but it will stop if you don't crumble and give in.

Parenting Toddler Strategy Number 9:

• Focus on your child's positive behaviors and praise them. Get into the habit of watching for behaviors to praise. Children respond to positive responses and will likely repeat behaviors that gain them praise and attention from you.

Parenting Toddler Strategy Number 10:

• On the reverse side try to ignore inappropriate behaviors as much as you can. This strategy can be tied back to cutting off the payoff. Your negative response is a pay off of sorts so don't give him any feedback if you can. This is my number one rule for dealing with temper tantrums. Make sure he's safe and let him have his fit. Do not talk or look at him until he regains some of his composure.

Parenting Toddler Strategy Number 11:

• Encourage your toddler persistently but make your responses match the situation. Over enthusiasm for simple activities can set a child up for disappointments when other people don't react to his accomplishments with such gusto.

Parenting Toddler Strategy Number 12:

• Separate the behavior from the child. Do not use phrases like "You are a bad boy." Label the action as wrong but leave your child's character out of it. It has been estimated that children hear and internalize 17 negative comments at home for every piece of praise or encouragement they receive. Words can leave scars so choose them wisely when speaking to your child.

The parenting toddler strategies listed here are basic. Some children are just more difficult to parent then others and require more advanced parenting strategies. If you are having difficulty with parenting your child please seek outside advice before the situation gets out of hand.

Parenting Humor

To those of us who have children in our lives,whether they are our own,grandchildren,nieces,nephews,or students...here is something to make you chuckle.

Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children.

After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve.

And the first thing he said was"DON'T!"

"Don't what?"Adam replied.

"Don't eat the forbidden fruit."God said.

"Forbidden fruit?We have forbidden fruit?Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit!"

"No Way!"

"Yes way!"

"Do NOT eat the fruit! "said God.

"Why?"

"Because I am your Father and I said so! "

God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants.

A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked!

"Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit? "God asked.

"Uh huh,"Adam replied.

"Then why did you? "said the Father.

"I don't know,"said Eve.

"She started it! "Adam said.

"Did not! "

"Did too! "

"DID NOT! "

Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own.

Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.

BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY!

If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?

THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!

• You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.
• Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.
• Mothers of toddlers now understand why some animals eat their young.
• Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.
• The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.
• We child proofed our homes, but they keep getting back in.

ADVICE FOR THE DAY:

Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home one day.

AND FINALLY:

IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:

"TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"!!!!!









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